[Library] Stories for life

hermione_15990 · 22-08-2007, 23:14

We always like meaningful stories. A great story can become a bit of your life, and you go on with it, put it in your spirit.
Here we have the stories that we like, collected or translated into English by ourselves, to make our library a little more meaningful.
Funny stuffs are accepted as well ^^
Enjoy, then post your own stories too !

Now, enjoy it :
CLOCKS IN HEAVEN

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?".
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.

"And whose clock is that one?"
St Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's George Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Copied from SOBA 1986 Class web page.

**rockbaby** · 23-08-2007, 08:25

Is it necessary to post this like a poem???

Anyway,want to have more fun?? ^^

Girlfriend 1.0 Upgrade

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker-night 10.3 and Beer-bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Dear Sir,

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to
uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long
as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance

trminghia · 24-08-2007, 00:19

bis bis , good story.
I don' t have a story, i just have a news.
May be there are many people know about the surprise in Microsoft Word (Easter egg).
" type =rank(200,99) ---> enter ---> many phrases "quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" appear.
Somebody told that this is a strange which Microsoft can't explain. Actually , it's not right.
This may be a function of inserting sample text into a document .
# Detail :
The =rand() function has the following syntax
=rand(p,s)
where p is the number of paragraphs and s is the number of sentences that you want to appear in each paragraph.

Examples:
=rand(1) inserts one five-sentence paragraph of text

=rand(1,1) inserts one one-sentence paragraph of text.

=rand(1,2) inserts one two-sentence paragraph of text

=rand(2) inserts two five-sentence paragraphs of text

=rand(2,1) inserts two one-sentence paragraphs of text

=rand(10) inserts 10 five-sentence paragraphs of text

=rand(10,1) inserts 10 one-sentence paragraphs of text

=rand(10,10) inserts 10 ten-sentence paragraphs of text

The maximum of "p" is 200 , and 99 with "s".
Moreover the sentence " quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" have entire 26 letters in alphabet.
That thing have existed for long time , but everbody don't pay attention.
Nay xin công bố

hell_angel · 28-08-2007, 17:50

Hello everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ma new member of KEC .this ‘s one of the moral lessons I like best .And I think it’s useful for u .Please read it and let me know how u think about it. ^__^ ! ^__^ !!!!!!

TEN KINDS OF FRIENDS YOU SHOULD HAVE

What do you think about your closest friends? Are they kind-hearted ? Humorous ? Sympathetic?Or outgoing ? Perhaps they have one of the above –mentioned qualities but the true reason why you make friends/hobnob with them is that you want to have their dignities.There are ten kinds of friends you should have in your life as follows :

1. A teacher or a consultant who gives you advice .
2. A person who brings you up – the one you can trust and rely on .
3. A fellow –who always supports you .
4. A soul friend –who always shares with you the same points of view .
5. A colleague – to whom you can talk intimately and share all things at work .
6. A friend in childhood –who helps you remember your peaceful childhood .
7. A friend in the same club - the person who is your close friend in a poem club ,a badminton club ,a businesswoman club …to play games, exchange knowledge and experience .
8. A friend who is in the same boat with you such as being pregnant, or having a husband who is going on business for a long time …;he/she will feel the same emotions like you .
9. A friend in the same crisis of conscience –who shares with you sorrows.
10. Ann opposite friend – whose strong points are your drawbacks.H/she will help you discover new joys in your life.

A friend can be of some kinds but remember that no one can meet all of your requirements .If you keeping asking for more ,your relationship with him or her will be tense .Therefore ,do not hurry to find new friends but somehow try to show your high appreciation to your old friends.

trminghia · 29-08-2007, 00:17

Bis bis !!!!!!!
It will be better if u post another with the title :"TEN KINDS OF LOVER YOU SHOULD HAVE"

Xgirl1418712 · 29-08-2007, 10:56

you did translate from a book named ABC ( i am sorry , i don't remember this tittle) . I have tried to translated it as it's lovely . Thanks you .

dorayaki · 31-08-2007, 23:42

A meaningful story that I can never forget

To love more

My daughter - Amanda - was only 4 years old but was a store of knowledge. Sometimes, she listed everything that she could remember. One plus one is two. Mixing yellow paint with blue paint and you will get green paint. Penguins are birds which cannot fly... So on, and the list never ended.
At last, she summed up contentedly: 'Mom, I have known everything!'.
I pretended as I believed her, but secretly laughed at her certain conclusion.
In a week, I knew I was wrong.
When we sat together in front of the mirror and I was braiding Amanda's hair, I told her: 'Amanda, I love you so much!'
'I love you so much, too!', she said.
I went on kidding: 'Alright, but I love you more!'.
Amanda's eyes lighted up: 'No... I love you the most!'.
'I love you more than a volcano!', I replied.
'But I love you as far as from here to China!'. China was the country which Amanda had heard from our new neighbors, who had just moved here.
We continued to give as good as we get. 'I love you more than sweets!'... Alright, 'I love you more than TV!'... 'I love you even more than chewing-gums!'.
It was my turn again, and I wanted to win fast.
'I love you more than the universe!'. Then Amanda couldn't have found any word that expresses anything more than the universe.
However, she didn't give up. I saw Amanda being deep in thoughts. And finally...
'Mom!', she spoke softly, and stand a bit more upright. 'I love you more than myself!'.
I stopped. Silent.
I used to think that I know more than Amanda. I thought I knew at least everything she knew. But I didn't know this. The 4-year-old girl knew more about love than her mom did. And I believe that Amanda love me more than herself.

CHRISTIE A. HANSEN
Credit to: My dear diary 2005 - 2! Magazine

**mh_candy** · 15-05-2008, 16:37

Topic is now built ^^
Actually the story 'Does God exist?' of Mr.Bê out there is suitable to be here, too. But that's all right anyway.
Just enjoy then ^^ I'm going to post some tales, like 'Once upon a time, There was a king selling tomatoes...', maybe

beyondgodlike · 24-05-2008, 20:57

Does any body know why six is afraid of seven?
Because SEVEN EIGHT NINE
I hope someone does get this joke. If you don't, it's highly possible that you don't have a good sense of humor.

dorayaki · 25-05-2008, 21:47

Hmm... it sounds like 7 AT NIGHT isn't it?

I'm really not sure
Maybe, my sense of humor is not very much =D But anyway, don't you say like that to people you don't know

beyondgodlike · 26-05-2008, 08:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by dorayaki

Hmm... it sounds like 7 AT NIGHT isn't it?

I'm really not sure
Maybe, my sense of humor is not very much =D But anyway, don't you say like that to people you don't know

Yeah, SEVEN ATE NINE, and NINE is the opposite of SIX

dorayaki · 05-06-2008, 15:43

Aha

It comes out to be that funny

22-08-2007, 23:14
hermione_15990 Member Join Date: 25-10-2005 Posts: 187 KL$: 1.079 Awarded 6 time(s) Sent 53 thank(s) Received 31 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A4 (2005-2008)	We always like meaningful stories. A great story can become a bit of your life, and you go on with it, put it in your spirit. Here we have the stories that we like, collected or translated into English by ourselves, to make our library a little more meaningful. Funny stuffs are accepted as well ^^ Enjoy, then post your own stories too ! Now, enjoy it : CLOCKS IN HEAVEN A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?". St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's George Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." Copied from SOBA 1986 Class web page. ------------------------------ ....all I want to do ... is be more like me...and be less like you..

23-08-2007, 08:25
rockbaby Senior Manager Join Date: 24-09-2004 Posts: 2.571 KL$: 797 Awarded 111 time(s) Sent 172 thank(s) Received 321 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A7 (2004-2007) Location: Núi	Is it necessary to post this like a poem??? Anyway,want to have more fun?? ^^ Girlfriend 1.0 Upgrade Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker-night 10.3 and Beer-bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me? Dear Sir, This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance ------------------------------

24-08-2007, 00:19
trminghia Member Join Date: 12-09-2006 Posts: 104 KL$ (TOP! 47): 2.710 Awarded 6 time(s) Sent 40 thank(s) Received 43 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A4 (2005-2008) Location: Vũ trụ xa xăm	bis bis , good story. I don' t have a story, i just have a news. May be there are many people know about the surprise in Microsoft Word (Easter egg). " type =rank(200,99) ---> enter ---> many phrases "quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" appear. Somebody told that this is a strange which Microsoft can't explain. Actually , it's not right. This may be a function of inserting sample text into a document . # Detail : The =rand() function has the following syntax =rand(p,s) where p is the number of paragraphs and s is the number of sentences that you want to appear in each paragraph. Examples: =rand(1) inserts one five-sentence paragraph of text =rand(1,1) inserts one one-sentence paragraph of text. =rand(1,2) inserts one two-sentence paragraph of text =rand(2) inserts two five-sentence paragraphs of text =rand(2,1) inserts two one-sentence paragraphs of text =rand(10) inserts 10 five-sentence paragraphs of text =rand(10,1) inserts 10 one-sentence paragraphs of text =rand(10,10) inserts 10 ten-sentence paragraphs of text The maximum of "p" is 200 , and 99 with "s". Moreover the sentence " quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" have entire 26 letters in alphabet. That thing have existed for long time , but everbody don't pay attention. Nay xin công bố ------------------------------ Sống, trên đời sống,cần có 1 đống tiền Để làm j` e biết ko.Để gió cuốn đi,để gió cuốn đi... Chậc,bác Trịnh Công Sơn thông cảm ,thời thế mỗi lúc 1 đổi thay.H cóTIỀNwan trọng lắm Weo căm A4 's box(05-08) Bà con vào đây đóng góp tí gió đê

28-08-2007, 17:50
hell_angel New Member Join Date: 28-08-2007 Posts: 7 KL$: 195 Awarded 1 time(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A15 (2006-2009)	Hello everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ma new member of KEC .this ‘s one of the moral lessons I like best .And I think it’s useful for u .Please read it and let me know how u think about it. ^__^ ! ^__^ !!!!!! TEN KINDS OF FRIENDS YOU SHOULD HAVE What do you think about your closest friends? Are they kind-hearted ? Humorous ? Sympathetic?Or outgoing ? Perhaps they have one of the above –mentioned qualities but the true reason why you make friends/hobnob with them is that you want to have their dignities.There are ten kinds of friends you should have in your life as follows : 1. A teacher or a consultant who gives you advice . 2. A person who brings you up – the one you can trust and rely on . 3. A fellow –who always supports you . 4. A soul friend –who always shares with you the same points of view . 5. A colleague – to whom you can talk intimately and share all things at work . 6. A friend in childhood –who helps you remember your peaceful childhood . 7. A friend in the same club - the person who is your close friend in a poem club ,a badminton club ,a businesswoman club …to play games, exchange knowledge and experience . 8. A friend who is in the same boat with you such as being pregnant, or having a husband who is going on business for a long time …;he/she will feel the same emotions like you . 9. A friend in the same crisis of conscience –who shares with you sorrows. 10. Ann opposite friend – whose strong points are your drawbacks.H/she will help you discover new joys in your life. A friend can be of some kinds but remember that no one can meet all of your requirements .If you keeping asking for more ,your relationship with him or her will be tense .Therefore ,do not hurry to find new friends but somehow try to show your high appreciation to your old friends. Award +10 KL$ Awarded Point for #193992 Gud job dear Awarded By mh_candy

29-08-2007, 00:17
trminghia Member Join Date: 12-09-2006 Posts: 104 KL$ (TOP! 47): 2.710 Awarded 6 time(s) Sent 40 thank(s) Received 43 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A4 (2005-2008) Location: Vũ trụ xa xăm	Bis bis !!!!!!! It will be better if u post another with the title :"TEN KINDS OF LOVER YOU SHOULD HAVE" ------------------------------ Sống, trên đời sống,cần có 1 đống tiền Để làm j` e biết ko.Để gió cuốn đi,để gió cuốn đi... Chậc,bác Trịnh Công Sơn thông cảm ,thời thế mỗi lúc 1 đổi thay.H cóTIỀNwan trọng lắm Weo căm A4 's box(05-08) Bà con vào đây đóng góp tí gió đê

29-08-2007, 10:56
Xgirl1418712 Member Join Date: 29-08-2007 Posts: 65 KL$: 702 Awarded 6 time(s) Sent 7 thank(s) Received 4 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A1 (2006-2009)	you did translate from a book named ABC ( i am sorry , i don't remember this tittle) . I have tried to translated it as it's lovely . Thanks you . ------------------------------ :* KEC- KLnews- Kimlien:* 2nd KEC's president 1st KLnews's editor-in-chief

31-08-2007, 23:42
dorayaki New Member Join Date: 30-08-2007 Posts: 41 KL$: 21 Awarded 3 time(s) Received 2 thank(s) Location: Doraemon's stomach	A meaningful story that I can never forget To love more My daughter - Amanda - was only 4 years old but was a store of knowledge. Sometimes, she listed everything that she could remember. One plus one is two. Mixing yellow paint with blue paint and you will get green paint. Penguins are birds which cannot fly... So on, and the list never ended. At last, she summed up contentedly: 'Mom, I have known everything!'. I pretended as I believed her, but secretly laughed at her certain conclusion. In a week, I knew I was wrong. When we sat together in front of the mirror and I was braiding Amanda's hair, I told her: 'Amanda, I love you so much!' 'I love you so much, too!', she said. I went on kidding: 'Alright, but I love you more!'. Amanda's eyes lighted up: 'No... I love you the most!'. 'I love you more than a volcano!', I replied. 'But I love you as far as from here to China!'. China was the country which Amanda had heard from our new neighbors, who had just moved here. We continued to give as good as we get. 'I love you more than sweets!'... Alright, 'I love you more than TV!'... 'I love you even more than chewing-gums!'. It was my turn again, and I wanted to win fast. 'I love you more than the universe!'. Then Amanda couldn't have found any word that expresses anything more than the universe. However, she didn't give up. I saw Amanda being deep in thoughts. And finally... 'Mom!', she spoke softly, and stand a bit more upright. 'I love you more than myself!'. I stopped. Silent. I used to think that I know more than Amanda. I thought I knew at least everything she knew. But I didn't know this. The 4-year-old girl knew more about love than her mom did. And I believe that Amanda love me more than herself. CHRISTIE A. HANSEN Credit to: My dear diary 2005 - 2! Magazine ------------------------------ Biến mất. Award +10 KL$ Awarded Point for #194169 Good story Awarded By mh_candy

15-05-2008, 16:37
mh_candy Manager Join Date: 16-08-2007 Posts: 325 KL$: 385 Awarded 27 time(s) Sent 79 thank(s) Received 59 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A16 (2007-2010)	Topic is now built ^^ Actually the story 'Does God exist?' of Mr.Bê out there is suitable to be here, too. But that's all right anyway. Just enjoy then ^^ I'm going to post some tales, like 'Once upon a time, There was a king selling tomatoes...', maybe ------------------------------ Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Sweet.

24-05-2008, 20:57
beyondgodlike Member Join Date: 26-09-2007 Posts: 71 KL$: 688 Awarded 2 time(s) Received 2 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A1 (2007-2010) Location: Fort Benning, Georgia, United States of America	Does any body know why six is afraid of seven? Because SEVEN EIGHT NINE I hope someone does get this joke. If you don't, it's highly possible that you don't have a good sense of humor. ------------------------------ DFB.最英俊網絡

25-05-2008, 21:47
dorayaki New Member Join Date: 30-08-2007 Posts: 41 KL$: 21 Awarded 3 time(s) Received 2 thank(s) Location: Doraemon's stomach	Hmm... it sounds like 7 AT NIGHT isn't it? I'm really not sure Maybe, my sense of humor is not very much =D But anyway, don't you say like that to people you don't know ------------------------------ Biến mất.

05-06-2008, 15:43
dorayaki New Member Join Date: 30-08-2007 Posts: 41 KL$: 21 Awarded 3 time(s) Received 2 thank(s) Location: Doraemon's stomach	Aha It comes out to be that funny ------------------------------ Biến mất.