Funny story

22-04-2003, 03:36

Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees are two aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married!"

13-06-2003, 04:42

the next one :
Fruits
3 people got lost in a forest in south america,they are : G.W.Bush ,Tony Blair and Do Muoi .suddenly,the Canilban arrested them ,they would be eaten. These people offered them "who can collect ten units of fruits and eat them at the same time can be free".1 hour later ,Blair came back with tens apples , when he eat the 7th apple, he sceamed "aughhh" so Canilban catched him in a cge and prepare to eat him .10minutes later ,Bush came back with tens graves ,when he was going to eat the 10th grave ,he also scream "Haaaa" and going to the cage .
In the cage ,Blair asked " why didn't you eat the last one "
- 'cause ,i saw Do Muoi came back with ten pieces of fruits ........the pine apples

13-06-2003, 12:26

he hehe ..very funny... Go on tuthmosis[A1] !!!!!! I am very sad today. ..Should go fishing for a while and relax!!!!! sssszzzz!

16-06-2003, 04:10

teacher of basic computer program told the student to type "r" "u" "n" and press return to see the program execute
nobody could do it
why?
because they wrote " are you in"

22-06-2003, 04:21

hehe bravo bravo , very funny , Go on ! . haha I will find funny story anh post in this topic

ok ? :roll:

24-06-2003, 16:42

--A Captain ordered his soldiers:"Men,when I say "shoot",I want you to shoot at will!!"
At that momment,A soldier ran away from his line,and hide very fast.The captain said angrily:"Who is he??Why does he run?"
another soldier said:Sir,He is Will "
--A man talked to his friend:"Have U ever hunt bear?"
His friend replied:"No I always hunt with my clothes on"
Does anyone understand?

24-06-2003, 17:40

bear and bare have the same pronuciation . So of course he answers he always hunts with his clothes on . woa , all14&14all : " have u ever hunt bare ? " hehe

24-06-2003, 17:42

Continue……
Kid : mum , all the angels can fly , can’t they ?
Mum : ys , of course , my baby
K : oh , hmmm ….mum . When will our domestic fly ?
M : Why do u ask me that ?
K : A momenr ago , when u go out , i heard dad said to our domestic “ U’r really an angel “ .
M : Ahhh , so she “flies” …nowwwwwwww :khungbo:

25-06-2003, 03:17

To Bambino:What about the first story,what do U think about it

beckly · 22-09-2003, 14:30

I have a funny story:200 Bucks

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
" Well, do you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in!"

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures: "what the hell - a hundred bucks". She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks: "what the hell!". She opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and then leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says:
" You know, your weird friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

24-09-2003, 02:24

THE ETHIOPIANS

There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following group of people were stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Ethiopian men and 1 Ethiopian woman
One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois".
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The Irish began by dividing up their island, Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not there to getting any.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the American woman keeps on talking about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.
The 2 Ethiopian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Ethiopian woman.

14-10-2003, 12:40

"THIS IS WHY I HATE MAJOR CORPORATIONS. "

--If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this.

My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00.... now was somewhere around $60.00) I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me: ¡°I am calling to tell you that she died in January.¡±

CitiBank: ¡°The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.¡±

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank:"...excuse me .....?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... )

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )

( After they get the fax. )

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."

Me: "Oh..."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."

Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...."

CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "That might help."

Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number given. )

CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"

14-10-2003, 12:42

Chinese Loan

A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on
business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan..
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

27-10-2003, 05:39

Things U Shouldn’t Say In Front Of Kids

------------------------------------------------------

1st Scene...

Daddy n Mommy r fighting in the living room...right in front of their lil son...

Daddy : OH! U Bitch!

Mommy : What? U Bastard!

Son : Daddy, Mommy...wat’s...Bitch n Bastard?

At this moment...Daddy blushes...so he quickly thought of something to say...

Daddy : It means...Ladies n Gentlemen...son

Son : OH! I C!

2nd Scene...

Lil son was watching a TV show...abt premarital sex...n there they mentioned the words “Breasts” n “Penises”...Mommy was reading the papers...

Son : Mommy...wat’s...Breasts n Penises?

At this moment...Mommy turned blue n quickly thought of something to say...

Mommy : It means coats n hats...son

Son : OH! I C!

3rd Scene...

Daddy was shaving his beard...n Son passed by the toilet...suddenly Daddy cuts himself n screams...

Daddy : OH SHIT!

Son : Daddy...wat’s...Shit?

At this moment...Daddy’s eyes bulged...n quickly thought of something to say...

Daddy : It means shaving cream...son

Son : OH! I C!

4th Scene...

Xmax is approaching...n Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove...but the turkey jz wouldn’t fit into the stove...so she said...

Mommy : OH ****!

Son : Mommy...wat’s...Fuck?

At this moment...Mommy froze...so she quickly thought of something to say...

Mommy : It means stuffing...son...

Son : OH! I C!

5th Scene...

It’s Xmax Eve! ...Lil son exuberantly opened the door to let all...uncles, aunties, cousins n frendz...come into the house...n proudly...he said...

Son : Welcome! ...Bastards n Bitches! ...please put all ur Breasts n Penises at the corner of the house! ...my parents r bz at the moment...u c, Daddy is putting Shit on his face upstairs! ...n Mommy is Fucking the turkey in the kitchen! ...dun worry, they will come out in a minute...

...Everyone fainted!!!!! ...

19-11-2003, 17:09

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom.

19-11-2003, 17:13

Wife 1.0
dear sir
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of such phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and lauches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as KaraOk-Night 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but
uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me?
Jonathan PowellDear
jon
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.
In fact, Wife 1.0 is an "OPERATING SYSTEM" and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under WARNINGS:
Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologise button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take blame for all GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.
Answer Man.
P/S:do not attempt to install illegal program like Mistress 1.0 which is currently circulating both local and overseas. Such program once detectedby Wife 1.0 will result unimaginable damages and cost of repair may incur very high fee and time, not to mention emotional distress.

lucchoang · 26-12-2003, 03:24

I got a funny story2
Its title is "Farther n son"

farther shouted at his son:"Why did u got bad mark, tell me y?"
The son anwered:"It's not my fault"
"Shut up, stupid boy, I'm so shame on u" He talked n talked more n more. Later, when he didn't hear anything from the son, he said:"Bad boy, can u hear me"
"Why u told me to shut up"

Do u understand?

NguyenThanhNam · 27-12-2003, 02:37

I know
but I can't laugh.I don't knơ why?
May be yr story 's very short
but it has some thing new
so it's good!!!

22-04-2003, 03:36
TrangnarT Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees are two aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married!"

13-06-2003, 04:42
tuthmosis Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	the next one : Fruits 3 people got lost in a forest in south america,they are : G.W.Bush ,Tony Blair and Do Muoi .suddenly,the Canilban arrested them ,they would be eaten. These people offered them "who can collect ten units of fruits and eat them at the same time can be free".1 hour later ,Blair came back with tens apples , when he eat the 7th apple, he sceamed "aughhh" so Canilban catched him in a cge and prepare to eat him .10minutes later ,Bush came back with tens graves ,when he was going to eat the 10th grave ,he also scream "Haaaa" and going to the cage . In the cage ,Blair asked " why didn't you eat the last one " - 'cause ,i saw Do Muoi came back with ten pieces of fruits ........the pine apples

13-06-2003, 12:26
tbkle Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	he hehe ..very funny... Go on tuthmosis[A1] !!!!!! I am very sad today. ..Should go fishing for a while and relax!!!!! sssszzzz!

16-06-2003, 04:10
tuthmosis Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	teacher of basic computer program told the student to type "r" "u" "n" and press return to see the program execute nobody could do it why? because they wrote " are you in"

22-06-2003, 04:21
Bambino_tho Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	hehe bravo bravo , very funny , Go on ! . haha I will find funny story anh post in this topic ok ? :roll:

24-06-2003, 16:42
all41n14all Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	--A Captain ordered his soldiers:"Men,when I say "shoot",I want you to shoot at will!!" At that momment,A soldier ran away from his line,and hide very fast.The captain said angrily:"Who is he??Why does he run?" another soldier said:Sir,He is Will " --A man talked to his friend:"Have U ever hunt bear?" His friend replied:"No I always hunt with my clothes on" Does anyone understand?

24-06-2003, 17:40
Bambino_tho Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	bear and bare have the same pronuciation . So of course he answers he always hunts with his clothes on . woa , all14&14all : " have u ever hunt bare ? " hehe

24-06-2003, 17:42
Bambino_tho Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	Continue…… Kid : mum , all the angels can fly , can’t they ? Mum : ys , of course , my baby K : oh , hmmm ….mum . When will our domestic fly ? M : Why do u ask me that ? K : A momenr ago , when u go out , i heard dad said to our domestic “ U’r really an angel “ . M : Ahhh , so she “flies” …nowwwwwwww :khungbo:

25-06-2003, 03:17
all41n14all Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	To Bambino:What about the first story,what do U think about it

22-09-2003, 14:30
beckly Phá sản! Join Date: 11-12-2002 Posts: 244 KL$: 0 Location: WHITE HOUSE	I have a funny story:200 Bucks A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. " Hi, is Tony home?" " No, he went to the store." " Well, do you mind if I wait?" " No, come in!" They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures: "what the hell - a hundred bucks". She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and thinks: "what the hell!". She opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and then leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says: " You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

24-09-2003, 02:24
muoiphaytheduc Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	THE ETHIOPIANS There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following group of people were stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Ethiopian men and 1 Ethiopian woman One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred: One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The Irish began by dividing up their island, Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not there to getting any. The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the American woman keeps on talking about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining. The 2 Ethiopian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Ethiopian woman.

14-10-2003, 12:40
TrangnarT Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	"THIS IS WHY I HATE MAJOR CORPORATIONS. " --If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this. My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00.... now was somewhere around $60.00) I placed the following phone call to CitiBank: Me: ¡°I am calling to tell you that she died in January.¡± CitiBank: ¡°The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.¡± Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..." CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!" Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" CitiBank:"...excuse me .....?" Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?" CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!" (Supervisor gets on the phone) Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply." Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?" CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?" Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... ) CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?" Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given ) ( After they get the fax. ) CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..." Me: "Oh..." CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..." Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...." CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply." Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?" CitiBank: "That might help." Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number given. ) CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"

14-10-2003, 12:42
TrangnarT Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	Chinese Loan A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000 The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

27-10-2003, 05:39
TrangnarT Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	Things U Shouldn’t Say In Front Of Kids ------------------------------------------------------ 1st Scene... Daddy n Mommy r fighting in the living room...right in front of their lil son... Daddy : OH! U Bitch! Mommy : What? U Bastard! Son : Daddy, Mommy...wat’s...Bitch n Bastard? At this moment...Daddy blushes...so he quickly thought of something to say... Daddy : It means...Ladies n Gentlemen...son Son : OH! I C! 2nd Scene... Lil son was watching a TV show...abt premarital sex...n there they mentioned the words “Breasts” n “Penises”...Mommy was reading the papers... Son : Mommy...wat’s...Breasts n Penises? At this moment...Mommy turned blue n quickly thought of something to say... Mommy : It means coats n hats...son Son : OH! I C! 3rd Scene... Daddy was shaving his beard...n Son passed by the toilet...suddenly Daddy cuts himself n screams... Daddy : OH SHIT! Son : Daddy...wat’s...Shit? At this moment...Daddy’s eyes bulged...n quickly thought of something to say... Daddy : It means shaving cream...son Son : OH! I C! 4th Scene... Xmax is approaching...n Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove...but the turkey jz wouldn’t fit into the stove...so she said... Mommy : OH ****! Son : Mommy...wat’s...Fuck? At this moment...Mommy froze...so she quickly thought of something to say... Mommy : It means stuffing...son... Son : OH! I C! 5th Scene... It’s Xmax Eve! ...Lil son exuberantly opened the door to let all...uncles, aunties, cousins n frendz...come into the house...n proudly...he said... Son : Welcome! ...Bastards n Bitches! ...please put all ur Breasts n Penises at the corner of the house! ...my parents r bz at the moment...u c, Daddy is putting Shit on his face upstairs! ...n Mommy is Fucking the turkey in the kitchen! ...dun worry, they will come out in a minute... ...Everyone fainted!!!!! ...

19-11-2003, 17:09
astorrella Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, John Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom.

19-11-2003, 17:13
astorrella Posts: n/a KL$: 0.00	Wife 1.0 dear sir Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of such phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and lauches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as KaraOk-Night 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me? Jonathan PowellDear jon This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. In fact, Wife 1.0 is an "OPERATING SYSTEM" and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under WARNINGS: Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologise button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Answer Man. P/S:do not attempt to install illegal program like Mistress 1.0 which is currently circulating both local and overseas. Such program once detectedby Wife 1.0 will result unimaginable damages and cost of repair may incur very high fee and time, not to mention emotional distress.

26-12-2003, 03:24
lucchoang Member Join Date: 04-09-2003 Posts: 104 KL$: 110 Awarded 1 time(s) Received 1 thank(s) School: PTTH Kim Liên Class: A1 (2003-2006) Location: Thủ đô hơn nghìn tuổi rồi	I got a funny story2 Its title is "Farther n son" farther shouted at his son:"Why did u got bad mark, tell me y?" The son anwered:"It's not my fault" "Shut up, stupid boy, I'm so shame on u" He talked n talked more n more. Later, when he didn't hear anything from the son, he said:"Bad boy, can u hear me" "Why u told me to shut up" Do u understand? ------------------------------ Con yêu mẹ của con lắm lắm :*

27-12-2003, 02:37
NguyenThanhNam Phá sản! Join Date: 20-07-2003 Posts: 384 KL$: 0 Location: K49B-Falcuty of Law-Hanoi National University-144	I know but I can't laugh.I don't knơ why? May be yr story 's very short but it has some thing new so it's good!!!